If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it.Go out and get busy – Dale Carnegie
The reason we stay in our comfort zones – the cow that we need to kill – is because of the thought that life is meant to be fair – that we can be seated and still achieve that which we desire to achieve. We think that others are responsible for our lives and have to be fair with us.
Now remember my daughters, it does not matter what you think, and life is not fair, neither is it unfair ……..life is life; life happens despite of you, in spite of you and irrespective of you.
The actions that you take, the attitude you form determines the results you get in every situation you find yourself in.
When you wake up you can have a pity party or face your circumstances with the boldness that shakes the circumstance itself. My advice to you my daughters is to find that which you love to do, do it with your mind, heart and energies and see the results that follows
I finished my form four exams at Oloitiokitok Secondary school – a school that is situated on the slopes of Mount Kilimanjaro. This was a newly established school and by the time I did my exam, we were the fifth class to complete. The general thinking was that the school could not set you up for that you’re dreamt about.
I had two advantages: 1) My elder brother had passed through the school and had been admitted to Dagoretti High school in Nairobi for his A level studies , where he was already taking Math, Physics and Chemistry combination – considered to be the most difficult combination then. 2). I had teachers who believed in me and the possibility that I could the brightest student in Kenya!
Armed with this advantages and urging from Teachers like Deputy Headmaster Mr. Kamanja, I applied to Join Nyeri High School – a top 10 A level school in Kenya by then! When the results came for the KCE exam were released I had passed well enough, (I was the top student in the school), to be admitted in Nyeri High school for Man Power Combination – Math, Physics Chemistry. My journey to being an engineer had started.
I reported to Nyeri High School at the beginning of February, and was shocked to find that though I was the best student at Oloitiokitok Secondary school, here I was the second last student in the class. While I had 20 Points, (the grading system them meant that the best student had 6 points and the worst 44 points), six of my classmates from other prestigious schools had 6 points! In my mind I thought that there was no way I could compete with this academic giants – I really felt like a grasshopper among them!
Life was not fair at all …..How could the best student in Oloitokitok Secondary school and I believe among the top students in Kajiado district be so poor academically?
Neither was it unfair …….how could I be among this academic giants, who could make mincemeat of me?
Life was life ……. Mwathi what do you do with your circumstance? Run away and have great pity parties with yourself and the village mates at Nkama, Oloitiokitok? Or fight for your territory?
My daughters you can imagine what thoughts came to my mind, Join the army? I was not able to pass the physical test due to breathing issues! Join the Jehovah’s witnesses as a full time missionary? One of our neighbors was a serious member of the organization and we had a lot of discussions on how I could join them and they would take me for further education so that I could join the missionary work.
How could I break this news to my parents, who believed in me soo much?
When we closed school for the first term holiday, I was sure that I would not be going back to the school. But during the April Holidays, my elder brother was extremely happy that I had joined a prestigious school! He kept talking about it and congratulate ng me for the great performance and he was sure I was on my way to the future! How was I going to tell him what was going through my mind? At the same time how could I let him down?
He was an avid reader and one of the books he had acquired was Stop Worrying and Start living by Dale Carnegie. I picked up the book and start reading, and by the time I had finished reading, I was determined to give myself one shot at performing better.
I decided to concentrate on one subject and chose Chemistry. When we did our first month I came out top of class in the subject. And I knew that I was capable of performing well!
By the time we did the A Level examination I was the second student in the class overall!
That is what is called turning the offered lemons to lemonade!
“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.”- Harriet Beecher Stowe
Nuggets to live by
The truth is ………. When you tap into realistic expectations, the tide turns.
The key to this truth is to realize that when you are in a tight spot you must switch off the frequency that gives instant solutions to your situations. Though your dreams will be high like Mt. Kilimanjaro, expectations must be realistic on a daily basis to allow balance in your life. Stop listening to the perfectionists. You must allow yourself to make mistakes and fail- dust yourself and move on.
The best way to do this is to start listening to those who have been there and have overcome the situation you are in ….. just remember that the world is not ending tomorrow.
Listen to the people who know what works because they have been there , how you will stumble and fail along the way and how long your journey may take – they will obviously note be exact in their estimation but will give a sense of direction. Remember the best performance in anything has not been achieved yet!
If you search seriously you could easily get an exact blueprint of what you need to the solution you search. Read read! read! I cannot emphasize enough on the power of reading.
The truth is ………… if you have a purpose for what you do, the “bumps” in your path will be smaller and easier to pass through!
You must continuously remind yourself why you do what you do, because it is very easy to lose the big picture view when you become busy on the issues of life! This is important since it reconnects you with your purpose each time you feel like fainting and giving up.
One way to do this is to write down why you do what you do and the expected results
The truth is …………….. It’s darkest before the dawn.
Sounds like an old adage but this statement is always true!
It is been proven over and over again that when things become soo difficult in our lives, if we stick in a little longer the tide changes in every circumstance that we find ourselves in, probably because being at that low point forces us to change the way we do what we are doing.
But maybe also because life seems to have some kind of balance if we just keep going. Do not give up but keep taking action until something good happens.
The truth is ………..when you reconnect with the basics the tide changes
One of the key lessons of life is that it is very easy to be overwhelmed by all the information available for our circumstance, especially in this age of easy connectivity and social media – and experts who are not experts around us. This of course leads to confusion on our minds. My advice to you is that ….just simplify your life!
The other thing is that when we concentrate on the now and connecting with the basics, we are also able to “course- correct” ourselves realistically if it becomes required. This by being objective and evaluating how we do things, the results we achieve and comparing the results with our expectations!
If we are not getting a headway, we change the course of our actions.
The truth is …………..our success will be an accumulation of what we do on a daily basis.
Just determine what you will do today! Yesterday is spent cash, tomorrow is a promissory note BUT today is hard cash for spending. Do the tasks that you must do today today and make a record of that.
This allows you to release the burden of the past times while save guarding you from worrying about the future.
And guess what, when tomorrow comes you will probably have a good day again with less resistance and you will most likely feel like doing the task again.